The first 2 funerals I attended were for my step-grandmother and then my grandmother. Both women who had led long, good lives, leaving behind children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren with wonderful memories of their time here on earth. My sadness with these funerals came in the realization that they won't see my children grow up like I would have liked for them to...nothing made me happier than sending my grandma pictures of Caleb and her seeing things in him that reminded her of my grandpa, or dad, or herself...and she was so proud of every little accomplishment, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant. These funerals left me thinking about the kind of legacy I want to leave when I'm gone. Everyone had so many funny stories and good times spent with these women to share, and I hope that will be the case for me as well. My grandma was also someone I could look up to when it came to my Christian faith...and I hope I can be that to my children and grandchildren as well. And so, while of course it is sad to say good-bye, I walked away from those funerals knowing I will see them again, and knowing that they led long, wonderful lives...and death is a part of life...and not a shock when someone is in their 80s.
The third funeral I attended was altogether different. A girl that Bryan knew from youth group growing up and who also attended Southland with us passed away on Wednesday morning. Lauren was only 28 and had only been married 3 weeks. 3 weeks. She had a blood clot, and it happened almost instantaenously. Bryan had also been on staff with her husband, James, so he was shocked and saddened on many levels. And although I didn't know either of them personally, it was impossible to not let this touch me. The funeral was Saturday, and it was amazingly powerful. I am friends with both her sister and husband on Facebook, and I have been so inspired by their faith through this tragedy...they know that God is STILL GOOD, even in spite of this terrible thing of a young girl going Home entirely too early (in our view). As the song we sang at her funeral says, "You give and take away, but my heart will choose to say, Lord, Blessed be Your Name!" So many times, so many people let something like this push them AWAY from God, or make them think He isn't good, or doesn't exist at all. Yet this family has chosen to let it strengthen their faith more than ever before. Such a blessing to see such spiritual maturity in the midst of pain...and I hope that if that kind of tragedy ever befalls me, that I will greet it with an underlying sense that the God we praise in the good times is the same God who holds us close in the painful times. It was also a realization that life is soooo fragile...and as much as it pains me to accept, I have to accept that Caleb is NOT mine...He is God's, and on loan to us while here on Earth...if God ever needs him more than we do, we have to trust that God is good and his ways are higher than our own. I can't imagine the pain Lauren's parents (and sister and husband and friends) must be feeling, but I know that they know that Lauren is GOD'S...and is now with Him. Jon Weece gave the eulogy and he said something that was very powerful as well..."live your life (accepting Christ's sacrifice for you) so that one day when it is you the funeral is for, someone like me doesn't have to stand up here and pretend you're in heaven, when you're really not." Wow. So glad to know that Lauren loved God and knew Him, and He knew her.
So, I hope having to attend these 3 funerals isn't a sign of things in my own immediate future (!) but it has certainly given me pause. I am much more cognizant of life's fragility, and how I need to hold the ones I love so close to me, and most of all, how I need to live out my faith and grow in maturity each day. I want to be a better wife, mother, daughter, friend, sister, etc. than I have been...because life is short. Praise God for His goodness even in the midst of pain and hurt...that He is a God who cries with those who cry, and will strengthen us when we are at our weakest point. Keep the Davis, Carter, and Rutledge families in your prayers, I know they are grateful for the strength each prayer gives them.
2 comments:
I was struck at both Betty's and your grandma's funerals how much they were like we are. Hearing people talk about them when they were young, they could be talking about us. That made it really hit me that one day, that will be me and I want to leave that same kind of legacy of faith. That also doesn't happen overnight. I see how it was a life long thing for both of them.
Lauren's death has been so tragic and yet it has deepened my faith as well. I was SO glad to hear Jon say that about having to "pretend" the deceased is in heaven. I've been to far too many of those funerals...I was glad that this was a chance to remember Lauren but also to tell people about WHY she lived like she did. I was thrilled to hear that ALREADY people have come to know Christ through her story!
It also made me rememeber that we need to always be aware of how we treat each other. Never let the sun go down on anger, never walk away mad. Because life is fragile and that might very well be the last time we see each other this side of Heaven. Not to be morbid...but it's made me remember how important it is to "live like there's no tomorrow."
I love you!!!
thank you for sharing your heart and reminding me that God is in control and must be trusted
Post a Comment