Beauty from ashes

I have recently be reacquainted with one of my best friends from 6th grade through high school and beyond...we lost touch for a few years due to crazy life circumstances, but she recently contacted me due to an unfortunate incident going on in her life...she is in the middle of what looks like will be divorce. When I got her email and began talking with her on the phone about everything, my heart literally felt like it was breaking into pieces...the Bible clearly states that God HATES divorce, and talk to anyone going through it and you can see why...the heartache, the loneliness, the confusion, the loss of friendships you thought were solid, the monetary troubles, the loss of control, the loss of your identity as a wife, the fear of the future and all of its uncertainties...God does not want his children going through this kind of pain and agony! And because I have been through it myself, the thought of anyone I love and care for going through it is extremely hard to stomach.

Here's the thing though...I am so, so glad that I am on the other side of things now...my past is my past, and I have been of the belief that God RESCUED me from what surely would have ended horrifically if I had stayed in it. I believe that God had Bryan for me all along, and if I had just waited on HIS timing, I wouldn't have had to endure what I endured. God taught me so incredibly much through the process...I became closer to Him than ever before, relying on Him for my EVERYTHING...I truly fell in love with Jesus and He was ENOUGH. I learned to trust Him more deeply. I learned to cry to Him, wait on Him, sing to Him, just be with Him in silence and let Him speak. And did He ever...through prayer, through His Word, through songs and friends...I felt more alive than I knew possible. Did I make mistakes along the road? Yes...but God continued to lift me up, forgive me, and let me run to Him time and time again. I prayed so desperately for God to use my experience for good someday...to be able to encourage someone else walking down this dark, lonely path. To turn my ashes into beauty. And then I get this email...

I don't feel like I am doing much, to be quite honest. Just listening and offering advice when asked, and just grateful to have a friend who has known and loved me since we were 11 years old back in my life...but it has sparked something in me...a reminder of what it felt like to be 100 percent reliant on God to meet my needs...for a friend, a Husband, a Father. I have too easily let my life slip into a comfortable place where I am so very happy to have such a great husband as Bryan, ridiculously giddy to have such a fun, sweet little boy to call my son, a roof over my head, good friends, an amazing church, etc. etc. etc. I'm not DESPERATE for God like I was during that time of my life...and I miss that...not the desperation really, but the way it spurred me to action--to reading my Bible faithfully, for talking to God constantly...and then, to see Him work so amazingly... miracles, really, that I could write novels about!

So, will my experience help my dear friend? I hope so. But I am grateful for that email, not for what I hope to give her, but for what it has done for me...made me reevaluate my relationship with God and pray for forgiveness for my lukewarm-ness. I am so glad I serve a God who is in the business of redeeming, because I sure do need it. :)