15 lbs down!!

Yay, 15 lbs down!!! Lost .8 this week, bringing the grand total to exactly 15! For some reason, that number really excites and motivates me. I'm also just .1 from a new "decade" of numbers, and I always get excited when I get out of one "decade" and into another. I am really going to try to work out every day...alternating either walking/the Shred/CardioMax...I gave up on silly level 3 of the Shred when my DVD got scratched and it cuts out the last segment-very annoying! So I went back to level 1 today, alternating between the 8 lbs weights and the 5 lb weights, and trying to follow the "hard" girl more. I really felt like it was a better workout than level 3, probably because I wimp out and do the easy version of the exercises in that level. I enjoy walking, especially since a walk to a local park and back to our house is 3 miles exactly, but it has been SO muggy and gross here, I just can't do it when it's like that. Bring on fall!!

I also need to work hard at not cheating when it comes to food. It's really mindless eating that gets to me-when I walk through the kitchen and grab a handful of leftover cheese popcorn from the party, or a handful of M and M's from Caleb's potty reward drawer (he's peeing and has even pooped in the potty! Woo hoo!), etc. And I KNOW those calories add up! Also, when I don't menu plan like I should, that always always always gets me into trouble. But I'm feeling really motivated and good right now. My cousin's wedding is in 2 months, and I will also be turning the big 3-1 that month, so those are my mini-goals for now. I was pretty happy with how I looked at Caleb's party, which is a HUGE difference from last year.

I also really need to get a handle on the fact that no matter WHAT I weigh, I know that Bryan loves me unconditionally...but that I need to do this for my own well-being and health. I don't want to be the "fat mom" who can't play with her kids because she is just too tired or can't get down on the floor with them. Caleb is a busy little boy and I don't want him to remember how his mom just sat on the couch on her big lazy bum!

I also am being reminded that in God's eyes, I am perfectly loved, no matter what size I am or what the scale says. So much of my life has been spent feeling "not good enough", especially in this area...and God says I AM "good enough". My self-esteem has been so dependent on my weight and how I look for so many years, I am really praying that God would break through all of that and remind me that I am HIS princess, HIS priceless work of art, worth dying for, and that my jeans size shouldn't dictate my self-worth. I know all of this in my head...but making it to my heart is the hard part.

Ok, enough for now. Thanks for the encouragement and support in this journey, it means more than you know.