Hillsong=awesome

This past Monday night, I got to attend a Hillsong Live "concert"...but it was actually a worship experience, not so much a concert. It was held at our church, and it was packed to the brim. And all I can say is...it.was.awesome. To be in a room with thousands of other people whose one and only intent that evening was to worship God...well, it was indescribable. I love the weekend services and all, but this just blew it out of the water....probably because everyone there came EXPECTING to be in the presence of God and EXPECTING to spend 2+ hours in worship. And no one was worried about appearances or putting on a "Sunday morning" mask. I've never seen so many hands raised, so many people breaking a sweat praising Jesus. At one point I literally thought the ceiling could open up and Jesus would take us all up to heaven...it was THAT powerful...such a small glimpse into what heaven will be like. I didn't know all the songs, but I've since downloaded most of them on iTunes, and am loving reliving the experience. It was so good for me to refocus on what is important, and be reminded of WHY we desire to spend time praising Him...He is worthy! He took my place on the cross! He is King of Kings and Lord of Lords! At one point, too, I thought to myself: I will feel like I did my job right if when Caleb is in high school/college/etc he is someone who wants to come to things like this...because he is completely aware of how much God loves him and is worthy of our praise...and wants to give his praise to Him.

Here are some lyrics to one of my new favorite songs, "Stronger":

There is Love
That came for us
Humbled to a sinner’s cross
You broke my shame and sinfulness
You rose again victorious

Faithfulness none can deny
Through the storm
And through the fire
There is truth that sets me free
Jesus Christ who lives in me

You are stronger
You are stronger
Sin is broken
You have saved me
It is written
Christ is risen
Jesus You are Lord of all

Monday weigh in!

Down 2 more, bringing the grand total to 17 pounds lost since May 25!! Woo hoo! And only 8 pounds from a new "decade" of numbers...I like being in a new "decade." I was really surprised at that big loss this week, actually. I still have a long way to go, but am very happy with this loss so far. What is really frustrating is doing the BMI calculator...but it's good for me to see. I have this pair of jeans that are not an ideal size, but they are dark and nice looking and they were too tight at the beginning of the summer...well, now they fit perfectly! I don't like how having been pregnant/given birth has altered my body in such a way that even though I've been at this weight before, I'm not the same size. Does that make sense? I mean, it's totally worth it...but a bit frustrating. I am really hoping to buy a cute dress for my cousin's wedding in Sept. that I actually feel confident in. I have a good feeling about it. I think buying that scale was one of the best things I could have done, simply because it is SO motivating to see the numbers go down, instead of just guessing.

Ok, I'm going to go post about the Hillsong concert now!

15 lbs down!!

Yay, 15 lbs down!!! Lost .8 this week, bringing the grand total to exactly 15! For some reason, that number really excites and motivates me. I'm also just .1 from a new "decade" of numbers, and I always get excited when I get out of one "decade" and into another. I am really going to try to work out every day...alternating either walking/the Shred/CardioMax...I gave up on silly level 3 of the Shred when my DVD got scratched and it cuts out the last segment-very annoying! So I went back to level 1 today, alternating between the 8 lbs weights and the 5 lb weights, and trying to follow the "hard" girl more. I really felt like it was a better workout than level 3, probably because I wimp out and do the easy version of the exercises in that level. I enjoy walking, especially since a walk to a local park and back to our house is 3 miles exactly, but it has been SO muggy and gross here, I just can't do it when it's like that. Bring on fall!!

I also need to work hard at not cheating when it comes to food. It's really mindless eating that gets to me-when I walk through the kitchen and grab a handful of leftover cheese popcorn from the party, or a handful of M and M's from Caleb's potty reward drawer (he's peeing and has even pooped in the potty! Woo hoo!), etc. And I KNOW those calories add up! Also, when I don't menu plan like I should, that always always always gets me into trouble. But I'm feeling really motivated and good right now. My cousin's wedding is in 2 months, and I will also be turning the big 3-1 that month, so those are my mini-goals for now. I was pretty happy with how I looked at Caleb's party, which is a HUGE difference from last year.

I also really need to get a handle on the fact that no matter WHAT I weigh, I know that Bryan loves me unconditionally...but that I need to do this for my own well-being and health. I don't want to be the "fat mom" who can't play with her kids because she is just too tired or can't get down on the floor with them. Caleb is a busy little boy and I don't want him to remember how his mom just sat on the couch on her big lazy bum!

I also am being reminded that in God's eyes, I am perfectly loved, no matter what size I am or what the scale says. So much of my life has been spent feeling "not good enough", especially in this area...and God says I AM "good enough". My self-esteem has been so dependent on my weight and how I look for so many years, I am really praying that God would break through all of that and remind me that I am HIS princess, HIS priceless work of art, worth dying for, and that my jeans size shouldn't dictate my self-worth. I know all of this in my head...but making it to my heart is the hard part.

Ok, enough for now. Thanks for the encouragement and support in this journey, it means more than you know.

Weighing in and party fun!

Well, yesterday's weigh-in results astounded me, since I was down .2. Yes, that's a POINT 2, but STILL...we had Caleb's b-day celebrations all week long and his party, and I still lost .2. I was pretty happy with that, considering I was pretty sure I was going to be UP at least 1. Woo hoo! So far this week I walked about 3 miles both last night and tonight. I need to get back to my video, but I love when the weather is nice enough to walk, and then I don't want to do anything else! I DO need to get rid of the leftover cake (YUM!) and snacks from the party, because they are just TOOO tempting.

This deserves a post of it's own, but Caleb's birthday week and his party went so well. We were so blessed by the people who came out to show their love for our sweet, sweet boy on Saturday. Gigi got him a train table, and most people got him trains or other things for his table, so he is SET. He also got a very cool Power Wheels bus, some great art supplies, books, other car or train related items, etc. Very blessed. I am still in shock that he is already 2. I will write more about his party, but here are a few pics.

Birth minute progression

My friend Kristy gave me the idea to take a birth minute picture of Caleb every year at the exact time of his birth. Here are the ones I've taken so far! He was born at 9:45 a.m. on 7/8/08. In last year's picture, he was taking his morning nap, and this year he and I were playing at the library. Bryan likes to joke with me that I'll be chasing Caleb down when he's 40 to take his birth minute picture! :)

Dear Caleb...

Dear Caleb,

Today you are 2 years old, and I just can't believe it. Time has already passed so very quickly. It seems like yesterday that I found out I was going to be your mommy, and here we are, 2 years later...how is that possible??

I love you so much. I never knew I could love someone as much as I love you. Even when you are a complete stinker, I love you. I know that these next couple of years will bring challenges--the "terrible twos" and all--but I am sure we will both come out the other side stronger and happier. You brighten up my life so much. I used to dread mornings, you know. I'm still not a huge fan, but when I go in your room to find you standing in your crib, saying "Hiiiii Moooooommy!" with your adorable little smile each morning, I have to stop and thank God that He saw fit for me to have the honor of being your mommy.

You are so smart. Really, you are. I know EVERY mom thinks their child is smart, but I know I'm right! :-) You know your colors and shapes and many of your letters, you can finish some sentences from books I've read you a million times, you know words to songs on the radio (your current fav is "Get Back Up" by Toby Mac), and you notice and point things out that I didn't even realize you were capable of pointing out or recognizing! You are starting to form short sentences and you talk ALL the time...and pretty clearly I think! You have peed on the potty for the past 3 nights in a row!! (That doesn't really have anything to do with being smart, but I am so proud of you!) And those are just the things I can think of off the top of my head.

You are so sweet with babies. I love how sweet you are with baby Emma and Hudson that we see all the time. I love that you want to hold their hands, hug and kiss them. You have the absolute sweetest heart. Your Daddy and I hope to give you a little brother or sister soon so we can see you interact like this at home. But even if that is not God's plan, He has been so good to us, we truly couldn't ask for more than the miracle of YOU.

You moved up to the "big kid" nursery at church this past weekend. I hear they sing songs with you and tell you Bible stories. Just this week, you came home singing "Deep and Wide", and it's the cutest thing ever! I'm so glad that you will start to associate church with learning more about God now that you are getting bigger. I love to hear what you want to thank God for when we pray at night. Usually it is "Mir-Mir (Miriam--your bestest bud), Alex (another friend), Jordannnn (another friend), neighs (horses), cars, barns, Mir-Mir's house, and lawnmowers (even though you're scared of them)." I love that you know you can thank God for anything, and He listens so intently to the prayers from a sweet little boy like yourself. I hope that when I sing "Jesus Loves Me" to you, the words start to sink in as you learn just how true it really is.

Right now Mommy is excited because we've finally found a DVD that you will watch for more than 5 minutes: Blue's Clues. It's not on TV anymore, but you love the $5 DVD we found...and it is helping you with learning your shapes even more, which Mommy (the teacher) thinks is awesome. But you really don't want anything to do with TV, which I think is great (except for when I need a break!) You'd much rather be off running around...in the backyard, in the house...playing with your many, many cars and trucks (this is your FAVORITE thing to do at the moment!), your kitchen, your trikes, sandbox, etc. etc. etc. You are so good at entertaining yourself when Mommy is cleaning the house or talking on the phone. You love to go on walks to the park in your little car or your stroller. You like to slide, but not when it is too hot. You love to swing. You love to chase bigger kids around...as well as the dogs...and they REALLY aren't fans-so if you could put a stop to your torturing of them, that would be great. :-) Tails are NOT for pulling!!!

I love watching you play with your friends. They each bring out such different sides of you, and I like seeing each side. You and Miriam are so sweet together, but you love playing rougher with Alex and Jordan...although you truly aren't "rough" the majority of the time...just...busy! I like seeing you learn to share, even when it's hard...I think you have a heart that wants to make other people happy (when you're in a good mood. We won't talk about when you're being a stinker!). I think that is a wonderful trait to have, that God has put in you. Just remember as you grow up that our main goal should not be to make other people happy with us, but to please GOD. And right now, sharing your toys with your friends surely makes Him smile.

I love your hugs and kisses. I am still waiting for you to come out and say, "I love you, Mommy!" I love your little dirty hands after you've been playing in the dirt, and your big stinky feet that I still can't get enough of. I love how you smell flowers and then go, "Mmmmm!!" so happily. I love how you push your lawnmower around the yard. I love how you laugh...when you REALLY laugh. I love your signature shoulder dance move. I love when you randomly make up songs and sing them. I love when you let me rock you and sing to you at night. You are the love of my heart, the light of my life. God gave me your Daddy, whom I love madly...and then He gave me you, whom I love just as much. I love being your mommy, and I can't wait to see how you grow up even more this year. But how about not so fast this time, ok? :-)

Love,
Mommy

Caleb is 2!

What a fun day we had today celebrating Caleb's 2nd birthday! We got breakfast out, had his first Krispy Kreme doughnut right off the line, played at the library, got a cool Power Wheels bus from a friend that he tried out and then went to lunch with those friends, took a good nap, went to the store and to get a fun drink with Daddy, opened presents from us, ate dinner and cake, and then Gigi came over to play with him till bedtime. WHEW! We're ALL worn out, but it was a great day. I really can't believe that my baby is, well, not a baby anymore...he is TWO! Here are just a few pics of the day. We're having a party for him this weekend, I can't wait!!

Weigh in time!

How boring is this blog?! All I've done is write weigh-in posts. I promise to get better!!! Anyway, I am happy to say that I was down 2 lbs this week, bringing the grand total to 14 pounds lost!! Woo hoo!!! I am not really sure how on earth I lost 2 lbs this week, considering the fact that Bryan was gone so I didn't eat as healthily, plus all the 4th of July festivities and yummy food that went along with it....but I'm not complaining! I only did the Shred ONE day last week, which is pretty pathetic, so my goal this week is to do it every other day, and try to walk in between those days. I did walk several times last week, one time it was 2 miles at the Arboretum, and once it was probably something crazy like 4-5 miles with a friend!! So that might have helped counteract the homemade ice cream, hot dogs, hamburgers, candy, icees, etc. that made up the weekend!!! I need to be extra diligent this week anyway, since Caleb's birthday party is this weekend, and I can't WAIT to indulge in what I'm SURE will be delicious cake!! We are also planning on getting a birthday doughnut from Krispy Kreme and a Gigi's cupcake this week...so I'm not sure I should eat at ALL, haha!!!

Ok, I'm promising to do another post of all of our 4th of July fun. And good news, Bryan made it back from Haiti safe and sound and had a wonderful time. God is doing some big things in our hearts-please pray as we try to discern His will. More on his trip in another post as well.